Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Because you smell like birdseed

I have lots of exciting tales to post about my trip to the River Kwai yesterday, but I am dying off with a hideous cold so am too sneezy to write at length now.  Instead I will tell you that I have spent all day indoors watching The Sopranos and wiping my runny nose and taking Tylenol every 4 hours to be fit for mar-c arriving on Tuesday – the excitement!

I often leave the subtitles on the DVDs that I am watching, partly for amusement value and partly because I can’t work out how to switch them off.  The translations are often a bit sketchy, but today’s was the funniest yet.  Here are a few lines from just one scene:

Real Dialogue: They want to wean me off (the morphine)

Translated To: Want let me breast milk

 

RD: What are you fellas doing here?

TT: The pulls a promise modern

 

RD: Heal him with your cleansing love

TT: Use the clean glove

 

RD: Viagra will never be an issue

TT: Be like the space of pull so the matter is a problem never

 

RD: At one time they were going after booze

TT: Sometimes they the confusion make after drinking wildly

 

RD: Bye guys, praise God

TT: I am really grateful to see again, praise be the absolute being

 

I’m off to sniffle my way thru another episode for laughs.

 

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