A lot of the young comedians seem to have beards and I don’t like it one bit.

Saturday’s day in the life really crept up on me.  I’d forgotten about it, but Saturday past was the day designated by Catherine as the day for the next installment.  Here is what I got up to:

08:21 Wake up thinking that the plot of Cloverfield, which I saw last nite with mar-c and Jo is true.  Give myself a shake and remember that it was all fiction.

09: 20 Wake up again, Lee is already up.  Remember that girl is coming to collect the bike I sold on Ebay. 

09: 21 Remember that the bike needs to be cleaned.  Bah.

09: 30 In shower.  Ponder why I didn’t clean bike first and THEN shower.  I think we all know I couldn’t have done that.

10.15  Am ready.  Lee brings in bike to hall, I break out the Flash wipes (or Lidl orange-scented equivalent of).  Notice that chain is off.  Panic that bike is in fact broken.

10.30 Lee fixes chain back on and douses liberally with WD40.  I married a genie.

11.02  Gal arrives for bike.  She is most pleased with it.  I help her downstairs with it and she rides off into the sunset.

11.10 Toast time!  Jo texts me to say that she will collect me at 12.30.  I guffaw and predict it will be at least 1pm before I leave house.  Make an Everest of toast.

11.15 Munching on toast. Reading emails.  Packaging Ebay things.

12.30  Put coat on.  Sit by window looking for Jo’s car in manner of neglected dog.

12.35 Jo texts to say she cannot find voucher for the place we are going.  She appends that she hates life.  I tell her to wind neck in and hurry up. Take coat off.

12.40 She has found voucher after all.  Will “be there shortly”.

12.50 I put coat back on.  Decide that as it is a sunny day, I’ll go wait outside.

12.55 Downstairs.  It IS sunny, but also very cold. 

13.00 Jo’s here!  Silently congratulate myself on predicting the correct time.  We set off in direction of Byres Road.

13.15 Find parking space near the park where Farmers Market is held.  It’s not on today.  We walk thru to Byres Road and head upwards.

13.20  Peel Jo off window of University Cafe where she is drooling over the icecream cones.

13.30 Stop off at Flight Centre.  Still looking for flight to Bangkok.  Spend ages talking to a woman, also called Claire, who looks up all possible permutations of flights for me.  She’s very nice, but needs to touch up her roots.  She can’t find anything cheaper than I already have been quoted.  Tell her I will be in touch.

14.15  Head off to our destination – Go Potty!  Lee bought me a voucher for Christmas for a one hour induction on the pottery wheel.  I am well excited.  I bought Jo a voucher for same place about 15 billion years ago.  We ask if we can book and after some wrangling over vouchers, we manage not only to get it booked, but to get it booked in 30 minutes time!

14.20 Head to nearby cafe called Pop for a light refreshment.  Cafe is really nice but tiny.  The decor is right up my alley in a pop art, modern, cuckoo clock kind of way.  There are only 3 tables, all taken.  I ask a girl if we can perch at her table, she looks confused and nods.  Not until we sit down I realise that they are German and probably had no idea what I meant.

14.45 Wipe away crumbs and pay the obnoxious ginger boy who served us.  He has put Gay Anthems 2008 on very loud as if he wants to get rid of everyone.  Other tables look defiantly settled.

14.50 Arrive back at the pottery studio.  We are ushered downstairs and introduced to nice Japanese girl called Sue.  She gives us both plastic aprons which will, in the long run, turn out to be completely pointless in my case.

pots.jpg            potterywheel.jpg

15.00 After a remarkably quick demonstration, we are let loose on the pottery wheel.  It is surprisingly easier than it looks.  Bearing in mind that my sole experience of pottery is watching Ghost about 9 times in my early teems, I suppose that is not really that surprising after all, as I thankfully have no spectre of Patrick Swayze slobbering in my ear at the same time.  Spend a pleasant hour getting to grips (literally) with the clay.  Manage to completely dick up my second ball and my first attempt is a bit lopsided.  But balls 3 and 4 are pretty good and ball 4 especially turns out very well, I think.  See above (Pot 4 on right)!

16.10 Admire the things that other people have made.  Note with disappointment that there is a) no Lionel Richie heads and b) no hot water left to hose ourselves down with.  Also my clean on this morning jeans are caked in clay.

16.15 Get a receipt to let us collect our things when they have dried out and been fired – in 9 days time!  How will we wait that long!?  Head back to car in a leisurely fashion, stopping at Woolworths so Jo can be sorely disappointed that they have sold out of mini eggs.

16.40 Arrive home!  Call Lee to see if he wants to head to Asda now to save me going upstairs.  He is ready so he comes down and off we go.

17.00 Shopping!  We have not done proper shopping in ages, so need to stock up.  Hunt out the bargains in the 4 corners of Asda. 

18.10  Home again.  Unpack shopping.  Put dinner on which is crispy coated chicken burgers in onion bagels with salad.  It is fantastic. 

19.00 Watching the final of Strictly Dancing On Icy Tribute Acts or whatever it’s called.  Cutting a long story short, Dusty Springfield wins.  We rejoice that rubbish Robbie Williams was voted out first.

21.30  Saturday nite TV is rubbish.  We settle in to watch the end of the My Name Is Earl DVD but realise we have only one episode left.  Bah.

22.10  Watching Mighty Boosh instead.  Funny but after MNIE, hard going.  Only manage 2 episodes before head is hurting and sleep is required.

23.15  Head for bed.  Finish book.  Contemplate starting another but too sleepy.

FIN.

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