Man, I expected something more than salad.

A bit of background before I start my trip diary!

My mum is Anne’s cousin, so Anne is my second cousin. Mum has been going over there for Christmas the last couple of years and last time she was there, she started keeping a diary for me to describe all the places she went and things she did so that we could compare notes when we’d both been. So she started the diary at the start of a new notebook and then I carried it on when we were there. Once I am finished making my notes, I will pass it back to her and she’ll carry it on when she goes back and so on.

So, without further ado….

Day 1

Up at 4 am! Who knew there was a 4 in the morning as well as the afternoon?! Flight to Manchester in model airplane. Surprisingly smooth. Arrive at Manchester to see Graeme Souness getting on a flight to Edinburgh. He had terrible hair and worse shoes. I didn’t recognise him at first without the moustache.

Whisked off in a private bus to another terminal, interviewed by a nice but firm elderly security man. Arrive on plane to the dulcet tones of Hall and Oates (this is relevant – my mum loves them). Discover that there is no seatback TV. Wonder if the Daily Record crossword will last 7 hours…

Managed to sleep for approximately 15 seconds – don’t fly Continental, seats are very cramped. Food was surprisingly alright tho – lasagne! Lee dribbled it down his jumper, that’s usually my job. Arrived in Newark eventually after having to listen to 3 generations of Mancunian dullards all the way across the Atlantic and worrying about the Manchester Uni gun club being on board. Got thru scary customs and headed to the bar for a drink. Nice man sang to us and offered us the milk of human kindness which seemed to be on draught as well as nachos. We took both.

Got on bi-plane to Cincinnati – I would swear I saw someone doing somersaults on the wing. Flew past Statue of Liberty once we eventually took off but more about her later. Arrived in humungous Cincinnati airport, completely missed the monorail thing and eventually got to baggage claim on foot and almost walked straight past Anne and Jim who’d come to meet us.

Got our bags very quickly and got out to their ENORMOUS car (it’s a Nissan Armada, car lovers – it’s literally the size of a ferry). We drove back to their house which is quite something – so beautiful. Checked into our room, very comfortable bed. Met the animals – Mack (the poodle) has fallen in love with Lee. Back downstairs to deliver Walkers salt and vinegar crisps and Diet Coke with lemon which inexplicably is not available in the US. Then outside to the patio for steaks on the barbecue and champagne. Managed to stay up til around 1030pm US time then collapsed into bed.

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